It's still amazing to me how much there is to do at home. Here, I spend almost every day all day cleaning and filing paperwork and paying bills and taking care of the dog and planning meals and cooking meals and doing laundry and editing photos and checking email and making/taking phone calls and balancing accounts and making appointments and searching for a "real" job. It's a crazy life. I usually find myself asking, "Who did all this when I was working? And, more importantly, who's going to do it when I got back to work?"
Which brings me to my biggest struggle lately... simplicity.
I've always been easily stressed and having a job always made it worse. More complicated. Cluttered. However, I was a working woman for so long that I basically learned to cope with my stress and let everything at home fall apart when necessary. I learned that I had to prioritize, which is often impossible. But somehow it all worked out... I think?
Now that I'm able to run our home full-time, I am so much calmer, even though there are stressful things that happen every day. My only major stress, honestly, is knowing that I have to go back to work eventually. I have no idea how to balance my time between both work and home, as well as keeping up with my health, our happy marriage, and possibly future children. It gives me hives just thinking about it. (Not really, but it does turn my stomach.)
I'm not Superwoman and I have no intention of being a superhero. But today's world usually expects it of us -- men and women alike. I don't believe we're meant to do everything all the time with a perfect report card. So, naturally, I struggle with being a multitasking perfectionist, and doing so with grace and dignity, hiding my insanity. It's dumb. Just how important is it to bring home a big pay check? Do I really need cable TV? Can I survive on healthy foods and skip spending money on crap, like chips and ice cream and coffee creamer? Do I really need a new bra?
I look at the vast majority of people today and realize we're all doing the same thing -- struggling to earn more and own more and then struggling to keep it all neat and tidy. Ridiculous, no? I personally have friends who go tanning just so they can lay down in a warm bed for 20 minutes a day in total peace. What does that tell you? I do not want to be like that. Maybe it's wrong to say it out loud, but I want to listen to my stomach when it gets all queasy and screams, "Stop it! You're killing me!"
Hi. My name is Erin and I'm a closet minimalist, who has been taught to "need" a bigger house and fancier cars and more shiny, sparkly stuff. Also, I should probably hire a maid and a nanny.